drop this in the club
therapy might be failing itself and its clients because of power dynamics
i hesitate to use “power dynamics” because it assumes the hierarchy of counselor-patient is a substantial one where the power might actually be legitimate
but here you have two human agents, one who has taken a problem or issue to another for their guidance, or perhaps only for the purpose of listening
i suppose it depends on what the goal of therapy is and the therapist’s approach, but i find people benefit much more when the exchange is mutual
that is, when we are both giving and taking in words, problems, suggestions
my therapist used to be very big on keeping things professional, on avoiding “conflicts of interest” and kept her life very private. she didn’t even let me know her birthday upon hearing that i was very interested in astrology
and maybe many therapists are much more relaxed about this, but i expect that most therapists enforce a relationship where the patient is the one who is there to talk, the one who is paying for the time to talk about Me Me Me
but what if we actually learned more from spontaneous, mutual exchanges
what if we actually found ourselves becoming better people in the process of listening to others, rather than talking about ourselves and all the things surrounding “i” “me” and “my”
we want to talk about how mental health issues are stigmatized but when we enforce these differences between who is capable of helping whom and how, we enforce the stigma
imagine entering an elevator with a stranger and the conversation you might be having between floors. imagine the elevator gets stuck for an hour and how that conversation might expand. this is a basic human interaction and no matter who you or your stranger may be, you will both eventually realize that your judgement of the other is as temporarily suspended as you both are in that elevator
and in those moments, you are both incredibly normal and maybe even equally capable of helping and listening to each other
but when you’re entering a therapist’s office you’re the abnormal one, even if you’ve told yourself “therapy is good for everyone” subconsciously lingering is a fear of brokenness, a need to be fixed
and never in your therapeutic process does the thought occur to you that you might be helping your therapist just by sharing your story. that’s not what you’re there to do, after all. at the very least, you’re just getting them paid. so as subtle as it may be, you’re assuming yourself to be quite useless, as if your problems make you incapable of helping other people deal with theirs.
in short: maybe you’re not learning as much about yourself as you could be if you knew, or at the very least couldn’t deny, that your interaction with another person is just as beneficial to them as it is to you
so why not have a therapy like being stuck in an elevator?
i really wanted to talk about one of my favorite ytp creators, cjflo, whose videos still manage to make me cry out of laughter
the halloween one, the r kelly ones, the george lopez and fresh prince ones aaaaah they’re all so hilarious
Why is it that people are willing to spend $20 on a bowl of pasta with sauce that they might actually be able to replicate pretty faithfully at home, yet they balk at the notion of a white-table cloth Thai restaurant, or a tacos that cost more than $3 each? Even in a city as “cosmopolitan” as New York, restaurant openings like Tamarind Tribeca (Indian) and Lotus of Siam (Thai) always seem to elicit this knee-jerk reaction from some diners who have decided that certain countries produce food that belongs in the “cheap eats” category—and it’s not allowed out. (Side note: How often do magazine lists of “cheap eats” double as rundowns of outer-borough ethnic foods?)
Yelp, Chowhound, and other restaurant sites are littered with comments like, “$5 for dumplings?? I’ll go to Flushing, thanks!” or “When I was backpacking in India this dish cost like five cents, only an idiot would pay that much!” Yet you never see complaints about the prices at Western restaurants framed in these terms, because it’s ingrained in people’s heads that these foods are somehow “worth” more. If we’re talking foie gras or chateaubriand, fair enough. But be real: You know damn well that rigatoni sorrentino is no more expensive to produce than a plate of duck laab, so to decry a pricey version as a ripoff is disingenuous. This question of perceived value is becoming increasingly troublesome as more non-native (read: white) chefs take on “ethnic” cuisines, and suddenly it’s okay to charge $14 for shu mai because hey, the chef is ELEVATING the cuisine.
One of the entries from the list ‘20 Things Everyone Thinks About the Food World (But Nobody Will Say)’. (via crankyskirt)
GO THE FUCK OFFFF
f(x) - Red LIght